Call me Danielle (Dani if we're particularly close) and you shall receive a hug. Currently twenty and living in a bubble. It is my secret ambition to be a Squirtle. Simply an Aspie who loves Scrubs, Pokemon, Harry Potter, Starkid, television, and appreciates random musings that tickle my fancy. Expect a sprinkle of quality, plenty of reblogs, rants, complaints, neuroticism, randomocity, some laughs, and a few sprinkles of worthwhile tidbits.
i panicked. i didn’t know what a normal person would do, so this is what spewed out of my mouth:
So um, a few months back I started telling people on the front end about this and you’re pretty much the only person who doesn’t know, but I have Asperger’s Syndrome. It’s basically a social disorder with a few other characteristics, but the social part is what I struggle with the most. That’s why I don’t really ever talk much and get overwhelmed very easily in social situations, which often results in a breakdown. I figured you should know that it’s not like I dislike you or anything, I just don’t ever know what to say.
i want to be comfortable around him. he’s the only person that i can’t stand to be around without feeling the need to bust out in tears because i can’t string two words together. for a split-second, i thought that if i told him, then the awkwardness wouldn’t be so apparent.
i should’ve known better than that. he put me on the back burner and reverted back to the ice treatment. what made me lose it was seeing him being friendly towards the new co-workers. helping them and talking to them. hell, he even went over to the allegedly mental girl and went back to her repeatedly. it was like he was taunting me each time he would only help the employee who was working in the same booth as me.
i don’t understand why he’s treating me like this. it’s been this way for the past eight months, and i can’t help but be frustrated when he is friendly and jokey with every damn person in the place except me.
the remainder of my shift was mostly spent crying, and unfortunately to my chagrin, crying while being at my register. my eyes nearly looked bloodshot while my face looked all splotchy. customers assumed i had a really nasty cold, so i played it off. i couldn’t keep my composure when K asked me if i was alright and if i wanted to talk about it. spent the next fifteen minutes in the restroom bawling. replaying that moment over and over in my head and contemplating how i could have explained it differently.
when i finally returned to the front, one of the managers told me i could go home if i wanted to. said that as i was headed out, i could come to them if i needed anything. felt so tempted to say that i need a week off. time away from being over-worked. time away from seeing your damn face. time away from people who clearly don’t give a damn about my well-being.
i am just sick of feeling so frustrated.
